Goosebumps movie review

This is a review of the 2015 movie Goosebumps

Goosebumps (2015)

So a little background while the Sony image is paused on my screen. 

1. I was not allowed to read the Goosebumps books as a child.  I wasn't supposed to read any scary literature per my mom, and R.L. Stein was the worst of the worst.
2. I'm not usually the biggest Jack Black fan. He isn't the most offensive, and sometimes I really like him but his movies are not usually my favorites. 
3. I'm watching this because my friend wants me to watch the second one.
4. I'm going to be distracted while I watch this because my family is watching a different movie in the other room. (one I want to watch but without the kids so I can actually hear it)

Ok, now that I have some knowledge out of the way I'm going to watch the trailer.

Well, doesn't that look fun? High school romance. Classic boy moves to a small town, falls for the girl next door, girl next door has a dark secret, boy saves girl story. Well, that mixed with some all-time favorite 90's scary story characters. For those who got to read these books, this movie is childhood fantasy escapism on a silver platter.  Ultimate question... Is it any good?

So I'm about 1/3 of the way through. They just found the abominable snowman guy in the ice arena. So far I'm unimpressed with their treatment of high schoolers, and adults that interact with them.  The police and Aunt are just annoying. The mom should have listened and I've never been to a high school where the principal is so clueless. 

I like Hannah, she is well written. Jack Black is just that, Jack Black. He does creepy in a kid way well.  The writing of a nerdy, uncool character like Champ is so overdone. I was friends with the type of teenager they are attempting to write and none of them were like that.  Teenagers are just not that mean either. Even in a large school, they know each other well enough to know each other's names and talk to each other.  When adults try to write high school settings they seem to just base them off of Saved By the Bell over and over again. They need to watch Clueless more. (just for context I sub in high schools, I volunteer with teens, have worked in youth ministry, and was a teen for a bit in my life)

The animation: the ink effect was pretty good. The face of the snowman guy, not so much. I will hold judgment of the rest until after the movie.
The music is alright. without it, there would be no tension. 

Jump scares caused by birds so far: 2
Just watched Jack Black suck up the snowman guy and I have concluded the ink is the best part.

From here on I'm just going to review as I watch it. I wasn't planning on doing that but, I just kept typing as I watched. Honestly, I amused myself so here you go.

Gnomes!  This is what Gnomeo and Juliet should have been like.

Werewolf scene was great.  That would be so much fun to totally destroy a grocery.

Mid-movie meet-cute!  Awful aunt and R.L. Stein like each other.

Oh this poor kid, full name is Champion. Who does that?
Oh wow, she glows! What is that going to mean?

Zombies!
What is going to happen to the Aunt? Besides being dumb? Let's just give the location away of the good guys. and now you are ice.

Oh there you go she is a character, now Zac needs to figure out what he is going to do. He can identify because he lost his dad. We shut everyone out.

Haa Haa Haa!!! The Shining! I love it.

So now the nerd, the new kid, and the book character get to try to persuade a bunch of "teenagers" that they are in danger. That is going to work oh so well.

Well, that didn't take long.  I wonder if the kid survived.
Now for the monster attack.

The Champ kiss was so awkward! Surprise kisses are so gross anyway.

But Slappy had other ideas.

This damage is almost as epic as the season finally of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (If you don't remember it, it is time for a rewatch).

Now Hannah knows, but Zac doesn't care so that is all that matters. But will she survive?
Ouch. Now that was a bus crash. Boom!
But they are all ink, so did that actually do anything? Nope, but again that is cool looking.  I really like the ink idea.

Who goes into a fun house? Oh, the blob that ate every one. cool.

Character development time, Zac needs to learn something.

Question, why didn't Hannah glow any other time she was outside in the moonlight? She obviously was out and about late at night. I like it, how many sweet 16s can one girl have?

Flashback to Casper! (If you don't remember that one, you do not need to rewatch it, it didn't age as well.)
And it is done. The End. You knew her for a day, he lived with her for years. I think the "dad" has more right to mourning.
Oh good the teasing kid was ok.
Look she is back! I hope he wrote her so she ages now or else that is going to become a really awkward relationship really fast.

It was a fun little romp. I agree with anyone who said while it is PG it really isn't a kid movie. I may let my oldest watch it when he is 9 or 10 but it isn't the right kind of movie for a little kid.
Of course, that can start me on my rant about the ineffectiveness of the rating system so I won't go any farther on that right now.
My favorite character is still Hannah. My favorite part of it is still the ink. I think that is just really fun.