When you can't post, then don't post, then need to post but....

So there comes every summer this little thing I call the Blahs. I just get in a funk. A major funk actually. I was hoping this summer by planning and having ideas of things to do I would avoid it.

I was wrong.

So it all started at the end of May when we all got sick. There was a terrible stomach bug that started with the little man and just went the circuit. It was awful and exhausting. Even the hubs called out of work.  That just doesn't happen!

Luckily, when I was down I had help and the kids went to stay with their Mimi for the first night. Keeping my life a bit more calm.





Then we had the interesting event of our cat trying to die.  He tried really, really hard. He had a fully blocked bladder. Could easily have been a death sentence. We got him to a vet, thanks to the local low-cost animal service. He stayed there five days, then came home to refuse his meds, refuse the prescription food, and basically make Yoruichi's life miserable.  Pretty sure that they haven't stopped fighting for two months.  It doesn't help that both of them needed to lose weight. Ugh.



Finally, school! Oh, it is just not working out right now. I have to get up and go.  I have all the intentions in the world but nope nope nope.

I have about 4 days to write two papers. 

Do I want to do those papers? Of course not. So I'll be relying on KOA and Pom's and just that last-minute drive to get these papers in before Thursday. Praying that happens!



So all this complaining just to say I never remember to blog! I hate it. I even think while I'm doing something: "I should be taking pictures to blog about it" but then I don't.  Like the other day! I made 6 batches of hearty banana bread. It was quite an operation. I had everything sorted and weighted out. It was perfect. then did I do it?   What do you think?


The main point of all this is that there will be a few blog posts here and there to catch up on some of the crazies of the Beam's Happenings at the Gate House, projects ongoing. Maybe even a few tidbits about school. And definitely some reviews of random things, podcasts, movies, tv shows, books and whatnots here and there. I'm looking forward to doing all this again so please don't abandon all hope of hearing from us here at Beam's Creations. 

Goosebumps movie review

This is a review of the 2015 movie Goosebumps

Goosebumps (2015)

So a little background while the Sony image is paused on my screen. 

1. I was not allowed to read the Goosebumps books as a child.  I wasn't supposed to read any scary literature per my mom, and R.L. Stein was the worst of the worst.
2. I'm not usually the biggest Jack Black fan. He isn't the most offensive, and sometimes I really like him but his movies are not usually my favorites. 
3. I'm watching this because my friend wants me to watch the second one.
4. I'm going to be distracted while I watch this because my family is watching a different movie in the other room. (one I want to watch but without the kids so I can actually hear it)

Ok, now that I have some knowledge out of the way I'm going to watch the trailer.

Well, doesn't that look fun? High school romance. Classic boy moves to a small town, falls for the girl next door, girl next door has a dark secret, boy saves girl story. Well, that mixed with some all-time favorite 90's scary story characters. For those who got to read these books, this movie is childhood fantasy escapism on a silver platter.  Ultimate question... Is it any good?

So I'm about 1/3 of the way through. They just found the abominable snowman guy in the ice arena. So far I'm unimpressed with their treatment of high schoolers, and adults that interact with them.  The police and Aunt are just annoying. The mom should have listened and I've never been to a high school where the principal is so clueless. 

I like Hannah, she is well written. Jack Black is just that, Jack Black. He does creepy in a kid way well.  The writing of a nerdy, uncool character like Champ is so overdone. I was friends with the type of teenager they are attempting to write and none of them were like that.  Teenagers are just not that mean either. Even in a large school, they know each other well enough to know each other's names and talk to each other.  When adults try to write high school settings they seem to just base them off of Saved By the Bell over and over again. They need to watch Clueless more. (just for context I sub in high schools, I volunteer with teens, have worked in youth ministry, and was a teen for a bit in my life)

The animation: the ink effect was pretty good. The face of the snowman guy, not so much. I will hold judgment of the rest until after the movie.
The music is alright. without it, there would be no tension. 

Jump scares caused by birds so far: 2
Just watched Jack Black suck up the snowman guy and I have concluded the ink is the best part.

From here on I'm just going to review as I watch it. I wasn't planning on doing that but, I just kept typing as I watched. Honestly, I amused myself so here you go.

Gnomes!  This is what Gnomeo and Juliet should have been like.

Werewolf scene was great.  That would be so much fun to totally destroy a grocery.

Mid-movie meet-cute!  Awful aunt and R.L. Stein like each other.

Oh this poor kid, full name is Champion. Who does that?
Oh wow, she glows! What is that going to mean?

Zombies!
What is going to happen to the Aunt? Besides being dumb? Let's just give the location away of the good guys. and now you are ice.

Oh there you go she is a character, now Zac needs to figure out what he is going to do. He can identify because he lost his dad. We shut everyone out.

Haa Haa Haa!!! The Shining! I love it.

So now the nerd, the new kid, and the book character get to try to persuade a bunch of "teenagers" that they are in danger. That is going to work oh so well.

Well, that didn't take long.  I wonder if the kid survived.
Now for the monster attack.

The Champ kiss was so awkward! Surprise kisses are so gross anyway.

But Slappy had other ideas.

This damage is almost as epic as the season finally of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (If you don't remember it, it is time for a rewatch).

Now Hannah knows, but Zac doesn't care so that is all that matters. But will she survive?
Ouch. Now that was a bus crash. Boom!
But they are all ink, so did that actually do anything? Nope, but again that is cool looking.  I really like the ink idea.

Who goes into a fun house? Oh, the blob that ate every one. cool.

Character development time, Zac needs to learn something.

Question, why didn't Hannah glow any other time she was outside in the moonlight? She obviously was out and about late at night. I like it, how many sweet 16s can one girl have?

Flashback to Casper! (If you don't remember that one, you do not need to rewatch it, it didn't age as well.)
And it is done. The End. You knew her for a day, he lived with her for years. I think the "dad" has more right to mourning.
Oh good the teasing kid was ok.
Look she is back! I hope he wrote her so she ages now or else that is going to become a really awkward relationship really fast.

It was a fun little romp. I agree with anyone who said while it is PG it really isn't a kid movie. I may let my oldest watch it when he is 9 or 10 but it isn't the right kind of movie for a little kid.
Of course, that can start me on my rant about the ineffectiveness of the rating system so I won't go any farther on that right now.
My favorite character is still Hannah. My favorite part of it is still the ink. I think that is just really fun. 

The History of a Failed Blog

A few years ago I pulled out a blog that I had started on my trip to Boston to visit my cousin in 2012. I never really did anything with this blog way back then, because let's be honest, who is going to do anything when you have postpartum depression and a very active toddler. So it sat there and in 2017 I had the idea to reboot it.

I sit here and laugh. By this point, I was home alone with 3 babies. The youngest, age 2, was exhibiting signs of autism, my little queen, age 3, could barely speak and had a reoccurring staph infection in her ears and throat, and my oldest, age 6, had such severe anxiety he was manifesting OCD tendencies.

The Baby Bears

On top of all this I was still suffering from severe anxiety, and if I'm honest, depression. I was not ready to be functional. Still, at that point I was taking on too much in order to ignore what I really needed to be working on, I just kept adding more and more stuff to distract myself.
Then the unthinkable happened. My sister Jetta died.

My family was devastated, a prepared-devastated, but our hearts were broken. She was our rock, our sunshine, our sounding board, touchstone, conscience, reality check, the smile you needed, the perfect mom, the best sister, and now our Angel.

After 5 years of living with stage 4 breast cancer, her body decided it was done.
We were not ready. Not one bit. Every day we miss her, want to call her, needed to know what she thinks, listen to her advice. Get the slap upside our heads when we needed it that only she was able to do in a loving and Christ-like way.  She was always honest, always, blunt, and always loving.

On my way home from her funeral, I visited one of my many quasi-brothers, Ira. I told him how I was treading life. How nothing was working and that I was miserable.  I had lost my identity in the whirlwind that was my children. How I did not have friends where I was living. How life had just drained me and how I was just a shell of who I wanted to be.

I was angry. I was hurt. I was lost. And most of all I was looking for a way out.

The last conversation I had with Jetta was about how my vacuum was broken. She knew nothing about the difficulties I was having with myself and the kids. I didn't want to "burden" her with it. I wanted her to enjoy her time with her kids. Only after I lost her did I realize that by keeping her out, I had taken from her a link to her family. A family she loved and missed.  We had moved away in 2015. I didn't see her for the last 3 years of her life.

Realizing this was a wake-up call. My honest conversation with Ira was a realization. Something had to change. I didn't want to live the rest of my life as a shell of a human being. I wanted to enjoy life with my children. I wanted to have a fun relationship with my husband, no matter how little time we had with each other. I wanted to form relationships with the people around me.

It was time.
So I put on my big girl boots. I enrolled in grad school at Ira's encouragement to finally do something toward my dream of becoming a college professor. I choose an IT Management MBA at Western Governors University.
I tried to get health insurance, which didn't work at first, but amazingly I was approved for Medicaid. I didn't look a gift horse in the mouth and immediately made a doctors appointment to get on some anti-anxiety medication. I found a therapist, who I now see weekly. I then changed my medication so I wasn't a sleeping blob all the time. And I kept going.

The journey that started in May of 2018 with the death of my beloved sister, became an active quest by September of 2018. Now, one year later at the end of May 2019, I am well on my way out of the deep pit of blah that my life had become.
I am starting to enjoy being around people again. In moderation.
I am spending active time with my children again.
My house is clean for the first time in years.
My cats are healthy.
I have monthly dates with the hubs.
I joke.
I play.
I plan, I follow through, most of the time.

So here I am rebooting Beam Creations yet again. I am not going to delete those few posts from years past. Instead, I'm leaving them to be able to show that while it may take a few false starts I can get going.